Laylin Jane - What I think about your first year...

As you are just 9 days shy of turning one. I hold you and think about you growing inside me. I think about the miracle of my pregnancy. I think about your little body intertwined in mine. I think about our first ultrasound. I think about how perfect God make you. I think about the pain I felt during labor. I think about the indescribable joy I felt holding your tiny body for the first time. I think about your first breaths. I think about what I thought was your last breaths. I think about how beautiful you were the first time I saw you. I think about those first few months. I think about the long naps and how content you were. I think about what a good baby you are. I think about the night I almost lost you. I think about the miracle of waking up that night to find you not breathing. I think about your little grey lifeless body laying on the floor. I think about that faint cry you gave that reassured me you were still breathing and broke my heart all at the same time. I think about how strong you are. I think about the hospital stays, doctors appointments, worry and fear. I think about the miracle of your life. I think about the alarm sounding from your monitor and the panic we used to feel. I think about the sleepless nights. I think about all the time we spent together in the dark. I think about how you love to be held. I think about how loving you are. I think about you growing and thriving. I think about your sweet voice saying mama for the first time. I think about how petite you are and how much you love to eat. I think about your feistiness and independence. I think about your strong-will. I think about how determined you are. I think about seeing you crawl for the first time. I think about you standing tall. I think about you clapping and waving bye backwards. I think about your sweet grin and your one and only tooth that's only a fourth of the way in. I think about the joy you have brought to my life. I think about you lighting up every time you see your sissy. I think about God's plan for your life. I think about the blessing that you are. I think about how much God must love me to bless me with you.

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