Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Letters to Isla Rae

Isla Rae,

Today, you slept over two hours in your bouncy seat listening to the sound of ocean waves over and over and over!

I am so proud and relieved... at first I didn't know what to do when I put you in your seat and you didn't cry. Until now, the longest you have lasted in your swing or bouncy was 5-10 minutes before you would start screaming for your momma to pick you up.

Since they first laid you in my arms on June 4th, you've constantly wanted to be held, cradled or just lie on me. You also love bouncing on daddy's shoulder. You would cry almost the instant we put you down...(your newborn shoot was a big challenge because of this). But we don't blame you! I can't imagine the feelings and confusion you must have from coming from such a tight, warm and cozy home to this big world and learning how long your arms actually are, how many different sounds, smells, strange objects and yucky tasting gas drops there are and unfortunately, what pain is. No wonder you cry... I would too sweet girl.

Today, I watched you drift deeper and deeper into sleep, astounded that you were actually going to make it longer this time. Then the thought crossed my mind, what should I do?...
Until today, I haven't had any time to really think, what would I do if I had an hour to myself? First things first, I ran to the bathroom...had to get that out of the way while I had the chance. I actually made me a decent lunch... Hey, it was 3pm, but still considered lunch for me. I guzzled down as much water as I could drink, knowing its difficult for me to remember to stay hydrating while normally nursing, burping, bouncing, consoling, diapering, etc. I did a load of laundry, swept the floors, ran the dishwasher (and emptied it!) and took out the trash! I did all of this while you slept like a perfect angel! (Periodically, peeking at you and secretly even wanting to wake you up because I was missing holding you). And now.. I'm writing you this letter so you can look back and laugh at me one day and also know how much I love you.

I'm relieved that you slept without me holding you...not because I don't want to be holding you 24/7 (because I could, and I do....I have to share you and even that's hard for me). I'm relieved because I feel like your gass pains were less today and our prayers for your relief have been answered for today. We're praying tomorrow will be even better for you and as you continue to grow these horrible pains leave your tiny precious body.

I can't believe it's already over 3 weeks! Wish I had a time machine or a pause button for life... Your growing and changing too fast for momma to keep up. I would hold you in my arms forever if I could.

Love you,


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